Saturday, May 02, 2009

My Latest Frustration

Most of us are familiar with the exercise in giving/following directions in which you are paired up and then asked to write down directions to do something very ordinary like make a PB&J sandwich. You then trade directions and you have to do exactly what it says, you are not allowed to do anything that it does not say, and you have to do everything listed in the exact order it's listed. Many people forget such simple steps as remove the lid from the jelly before spreading it on the bread. Thus, you have to put the entire jar of jelly on the slice of bread and have to attempt to spread the jar around with the knife.

I bring this up merely as an example of the consequences of poor communication. My latest frustration is particularly regarding girls trying to communicate with boys. Girls tend to try to hint at what they want from us. This does not work! If you want to be miserable while waiting for said guy to figure whatever it is out, that's your business. However, I am a guy, and from my experience, most of us would much prefer you telling us straight.

I was just informed by a third party that a certain girl has been hinting something at me for about 4 months. Much grief and annoyance on the part of both parties involved would have been saved if she had just told me. Girls, hints don't work. "Give it up, you can't win!"-Andrew from StarFox64.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Sad Day...

Jeff is selling his motorcycle. Combined with Kevin's getting totaled last year, that means that our motorcycle gang is officially dead. I got to ride Jeff's motorcycle for the last time today. It was awesome, but sad. Anyway, that is all.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Well...

I was camping this weekend on Antelope Island in a teepee. It was raining and windy. For those of you that don't know, teepees have a hole at the top, and the canvas doesn't necessarily go all the way to the ground. It was rather miserable. Anyway, the point of this post is that I've missed so many days and most days that I have posted, I haven't said anything worth saying. So, I basically quit. I'll continue to blog, but only when I actually have something to say.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Advice

Hey, I'm not really feeling it today, so I'm just going to leave you with this little bit of advice from Ali G:
"Crime isn't something you should do, it's something you should don't."

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Bowling is Awesome

Hey, everybody! I just am way excited about last night and feel like sharing here. Last night I bowled in a little doubles tournament. I bowled extremely well. My first game was 233, followed by a 265. I finished with a 203 for a three game series score of 701. I have been bowling seriously for a little over two years and I finally broke 700! Also, 265 tied my highest game ever. Now, to the best part. I paid 22 dollars to enter this tournament, and I won 14 for the second game, and 5 for the third. I also had the highest handicap series with a 767 that won me 10 bucks. That means that I won a total of 29 dollars, which is seven dollars of profit. I'm way stoked. Catch ya all later (...as in tomorrow...)

Monday, April 20, 2009

Man Down! (actually the internet...)

Hey all, sorry that I haven't posted anything the last two days. The internet at my house has been and continues to be down. So, I haven't been able to post. However, on the whole, the internet being down at my house has been a good thing for my whole family. Instead of wasting countless hours on Facebook or playing dumb games, we have spent more time together as well as pursuing other activities that are way more worth our time.

Honestly, I wish that life could be this simple all of the time. For once, instead of getting up and sitting on Facebook for a few hours while procrastinating my chores and such. I got up and got them all done as well as a few things that my mom hadn't asked me to do. Anyway, my verdict is that the internet, even though it has improved so much and has many benefits, is mostly a waste of time, at least for me. Catch ya later. (...as in when my internet gets fixed...)

Friday, April 17, 2009

The Black Hole of Death! (for socks)

Have you ever wondered what happens to the socks that disappear in the laundry? I mean, we're all pretty familiar with doing a load of laundry and ending up with odd socks right? I figured it out a while back. Jeff, Kevin, and I were on a backpacking trip in Zion National Park. Every morning when we were packing up for the day's journey, we found a pair of socks in the tent that honestly did not belong to any of us. This happened more than once. So, next time you're doing laundry and there's one less sock than you started with, know that somewhere, some campers are all claiming that it doesn't belong to them. Someone ends up taking it because leaving it would be littering. Don't worry, someday, it will go through the wash again and you might be camping at that moment. Catch ya later (...as in tomorrow...)

Thursday, April 16, 2009

My Dream Vehicle (realistic that is)

As of late, I've spent quite a bit of time on Youtube watching clips from a BBC show called Top Gear. It is mainly a show on which they review cars. However, it's British and therefore hilarious. They also take on "challenges" which vary in style, but frequently go something like: buy a car meeting some requirement (a porche, a supercar, a van, etc.) and then put it through a series of tests to see who got the best deal.

Oh, I should mention that there are three presenters (what we would call hosts in America) and they are Jeremy Clarkson, Richard "Hamster" Hammond, and James "Captain Slow" May. The challenges are competitions between the three of them. The interaction between all three of them is what makes this show hilarious.

Anyhow, I tell you all of this because it has caused me to return to one of my old hobbies. I enjoy cars. I like driving them. I like reading about them. I like looking at pictures of them. I like playing racing video games. I want one.

The vehicle that I most want to own is a Toyota Tacoma. Keep in mind that this is my realistic dream vehicle. The main reasons that I want one are as follows. First, it is a truck and thus has a little bit of height to it. Useful for dips and speedbumps. This also means that I have room for cargo. They can come in a 4x4 which is great for fun as well as practical for Utah winters. They can come with four doors. That means that I can take people with me when I go somewhere or other. Lastly, they are made by Toyota, which means that they are safe as far as crash ratings and such go. The Toyota badge also means that it will last forever.

Now, I'll tie the beginning and the end together rather neatly. I just watched clips from Top Gear in which they tried to destroy at Toyota Hilux, which is essentially the European version of the Tacoma. First they drove it down stairs and carelessly around corners. They even drove it directly into a tree. This merely bent the "bonnet" (hood for us American types) and took out one head light. Next, they tried to drown it. They left it on the boat ramp at low tide and let it sit while the tide came in. The truck was completely submerged and not seen again until five hours later when the tide had receded. They cleaned out the silt that had pretty much filled the whole of the vehicle and it still ran.

They drove it through a small shed like building that they claimed was the Top Gear produciton offices. Next, they used a crane to pick it up and drop it onto pavement from about twenty feet in the air. Then they dropped a "caravan" (camping trailer) on it from about 20 feet. They then hooked up the wrecking ball and had a go at it. Ok, so they swung at the tail gate which is fairly non-essential for the actually mechanics of the machine, but still, the tail gate didn't break. Finally, they drained the "petrol" (gasoline) and set fire to the interior and truck bed. Afterwhich, it was shown driving into the studio. It was invincible.

On a later episode of the show, they put it on top of a 23 story housing building that was being demolished. I'm not talking about the slow laborious taking apart of a building. I'm referring to the sudden implosion caused by lots of explosives. The truck survived and was again shown driving under its own power into the studio. Throughout all of this, they did not use any replacement parts and only used simple tools, (wrenches, pliers, and the like) no power tools, or high-tech mechanic's tools. The only thing they did replace was the "wind-screen" (wind-shield) because the first one was lost at sea. They had to replace that in order to continue driving it around.

Anyhow, I want one. I want a late 90's one, and I want to raise the suspension some and put 33" tires on it. I want the 3.4 L V6 engine with the 4x4 drive train. I've looked on KSL.com classifieds and such and it should cost me between $8,000-$10,000. I can't wait.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Collections.

I personally collect Band T-shirts. I currently have tons of shirts.

From concerts that I've actually been to I have:
The Aquabats
Australian Pink Floyd
Fear Nuttin' Band
Journey
Rush
Styx
Steve Miller Band
Streetlight Manifesto
SuperHero
Suburban Legends
Trans-Siberian Orchestra
and three "Viewers Like You" Chest-Pants

I also have a Led Zeppelin shirt, but alas, I am not lucky enough to have been to one of their shows. Come to think of it, I've got a Journey shirt that wasn't from the concert. I just bought it at a store. Then I've got other non-T-shirt-apparel. I have one Journey bandana and one Steve Miller Band bandana. I have a SuperHero hoodie and zippered hoodies from Streetlight Manifesto and Subruban Legends.

I'm headed to see Styx and REO Speedwagon again on May 30. It will be my third time seeing Styx and second seeing REO Speedwagon. .38 Special will also be playing and it will be my first time seeing them. I plan on picking up at least an REO Speedwagon shirt, and possibly another Styx one. Or a sweet bandana.

Anyhow, that's my collection. I told you all about this to have an example of a "normal" collection for you to compare this next one with. My dog (She is technically named "Carmel" but I call her "Dog". Also, for those of you that care, she is a yellow lab with a little bit of golden retriever. She is a fine looking dog.) collects socks. She lives in the front room mostly, but has access to pretty much the whole house. We have found on occasion a sock or two ending up in the front room in the morning. We figure that she roams around at night and grabs socks when she finds them. We even have to close the laundry room door at night, because she has started going to the basement and getting them out of the laundry room.

This morning, we awoke to find that, while we slept, 13 socks had been gathered from various places in the house and placed in the front room. There are 9 black socks, (only four of which make pairs, the other five are just random socks) two tan socks (not matching), and one pair of white ankle socks. Apparently my dog likes socks.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Augh!

I had an excellent idea for a blog as I was driving home from my bowling tournament tonight. However, by the time I got home and got on, I had forgotten. I'm furious. I vaguely know that it had something to do with several examples...Ding! we have a winner. I just remembered.

Okay, I also just thought of something else that somehow goes along with it. First is this:

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." -Albert Einstein.

Now if I could just remember my examples, we'd be in business. I do remember one example. My mom used to wake me up everyday at seven in the morning or so, and give me a list of chores to do that day. I would then fall right back asleep and would wake up several hours later. When she would get home around noon, she would always get mad at me for not doing these chores. I honestly never remembered being asked to do them. It's not like I had just blown them off. I just couldn't remember them.

This happened pretty much everyday for a month or two. I told my mom that it would all be solved if she would just write the list down for me. She then got mad at me for not being willing to change, for making her conform to my system. It was frustrating. However, yesterday and today, she wrote a list. I accomplished everything on the lists and all was/is well.

My second thought is this:

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act, but a habit." -Aristotle

This was displayed above the door to the band room at Viewmont High School. Wayman (our director, and one of my heroes) would frequently ask us if we had looked up when we walked in. He would particularly do this when kids were goofing off and not taking rehearsal seriously. Anyhow, I just like that quote.

"We are what we repeatedly do. Insanity, therefore, is not a condition, but a habit." -Steve Buys

Thanks for reading. I'll catch ya later. (...as in tomorrow...)

Monday, April 13, 2009

All in favor say "Aye", all opposed say "No"...

It appears that the "Aye"s are above the "No"s. -swa!ll!M@

If you don't find that humorous, or at least pathetically dorky, then you need to say it all out loud.

For those of you that don't know, that weird looking string of characters at the end is my friend's name. M@=Matt and swa!ll!M is roughly Williams upside down.

Well, I thought I was just going to quit this whole BEDA thing, but it turns out that someone has actually been reading this, so I'll continue.

Well, here we go for today. I ran into one of my pet peeves tonight. Alan and I went bowling. (I bowled about average considering the lane conditions. Alan bowled his two highest games ever: 161 and 166.) After bowling, we went to Beto's. It was delicious as always. Our usual table was taken, which is unfortunate but bearable. However, when they left, they left their garbage at the table! What pigs! The people that work at fast food establishments are not paid to clean up after you! You didn't leave them a tip like you would in a nice restaurant for the person that cleans up your mess! You have to walk right past TWO garbage cans on your way to the exit! Don't be lazy! Have a little respect for the people that make a delicious breakfast in a tortilla possible!

Okay, now for those of you English major types, I know that I overused the "!" in this last paragraph. I just don't know how else to express my anger at such lazy people. I know this is pretty lame, but I'd like to hear what your pet peeves are. Don't be boring and just tell me, write about it on your blog and then send me the link.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

FIAL!!!

If fial is a failed fail, does that make it a success? That's neither here nor there. I have failed the Blog Every Day in April challenge. I did not blog yesterday and that distresses me greatly. Although I had nothing worth saying yesterday, I still regret not posting. I have yet to decide if I should continue anyway, or merely return to posting only when something needs to be said. I ask you all what I should do. Actually, I'm pretty sure that no one is reading this anymore. So, if you do happen to read this within the next couple of days, let me know whether I should continue with the senseless ramblings for the sake of rambling senselessly or write only when I've actually got something to say. Thanks.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Yo 2

Hey, I've really got nothing to say today. I'm just doing this nice and early so I don't forget. Top Gear is my new favorite thing. I've pretty much spent an hour or two of each of the last couple days watching it on Youtube. Also, last night while we were eating dinner at ChiJi's, (that is not an "l". Don't believe me? Look at the sign on the restaurant itself.) a song by the Dave Matthews Band came on. I've been listening to them today. I had forgotten how awesome they are. Anyway, I'll catch ya all later. (...as in tomorrow...)

My new favorite pasttime.

Although I doubt I will ever have enough money to actually do this, I want to:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flKzjuDhFDs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIeu7_-iwdw

That's really all I've got tonight. It's cool, watch them.

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Be You. Be Like Yourself. Be What You're Like.

I'd just like to take this moment to thank They Might Be Giants for spelling it out so clearly. It's really not that hard guys. Don't be two, three, four, or pi-faced. (Pie-faced however is ok, as long as the pie(s) are(were) delicious.) However, here I go telling you all what to do, when TMBG also clearly states that "You're not the boss of me now!" Wait, that's true, but I am the boss of you. So, do as I say. The title of this post says it all.

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

FURIOUS WITH THE RAGE!!!

Imagine that you come home, from a very uplifting discussion with a good friend. You are planning on hanging out with some other friends. You have let them know that you are now free and can do something. You walk in your house to find all of the lights off, which strikes you as odd, because you doubt that you were smart enough to turn them off last time you left. You enter your house, and your dog does not greet you at the door. You hear some strange sounds coming from the basement, that sound remarkably like the television. You think perhaps, that your brother, like you, refrained from partaking in the family vacation to Lehman Caves (spelling?). You head downstairs and can see that the projector is on. You get to the bottom of the stairs to see that all of the friends you were going to hang out with soon are sitting on your couches. You happen to see that the six year old look alike isn't wearing a shirt. Luckily, you have enough experience with these certain friends, to know that if the shirts are off, the pants are most likely off as well. You run upstairs and they get dressed.

Alright, I'm sick of writing all of this crap. That happened to me tonight. Talk about a Killjoy.

For those of you that think I...

For those of you that think that I just failed this challenge by not blogging yesterday, think again. You may not know it, (actually, you probably do, since the only person that is even remotely likely to read this is the person that developed and then shared this system with me...thanks Kim) but I run on a different system regarding the beginning and ending of days.

Midnight is not the beginning of the day. Think about it. Why do we end one day and start the next at a time that is specifically referred to as an absurd time to end/start a day? The actually word "midnight" clearly implies that it is the middle of the night, not the end/beginning of the day. The thought makes reason stare!

Anyway, now that I've had my little tirade, (oxymoron?...in my case, probably just moron...) I'll explain my system. Now, I've heard countless people that don't consider it the next day until you go to sleep and wake up sometime later. (Of course you wake up later. If you wake up at all, you wake up "later". (The Incredibles...anyone?...)) This system is preposterous. What if I take a nap every afternoon? Does that mean that my calendar year has 730 days in it? Of course not!

To this people usually respond that naps don't count. How then do you define a nap? Most people would say something about sleeping for less than some arbitrary amount of time is what defines a "nap" as such. Others say that sleeping during the day is the defining characteristic of a "nap". In fact, it is neither of these. (Look Around You, Series One, Module 1: Maths...anyone?...)

Say that sleeping for less than some arbitrary amount of time, say three hours, is what makes up a nap. As my friends at Utah State University and my former employer will (well, at least "can"...perhaps not "will"...Lance doesn't like me much anymore...) inform you, there were numerous instances that I stayed in Logan until around 1:00-2:00. At that point I drove home, a 1.5 hour (shame on you, speeders) ordeal. That means that I arrived home between 2:30 and 3:30. I then slept until about 5:00 and drove to work (a ten minute ordeal) by 5:30 in order to arrive on time. Now, if you do the maths, that means that I slept for a maximum of 2.5 hours. This is less than my arbitrary amount of time, which was 3 hours.

So, this means that I took a nap. This would also mean that the day never changed over from Sunday to Monday. Thus, I am a sinner, for I worked on a Sunday. That is preposterous. Now you might argue that I returned home after work and then slept for more than three hours. Thus, that was the end of Sunday and beginning of Monday. Alas, it was not so. On several occasions, I returned home and didn't sleep at all after work. On many others, I again slept for less than three hours before waking up. (later of course...we've been through this) This would mean that the day never changed from Sunday to Monday until most people had changed from Monday over to Tuesday. This is obviously absurd.

Now, to the other argument. (Kim, if you are in fact reading this...or anyone else for that matter...I'm sorry that I'm so long-winded...er...long-typing-endurance-ed...I think you get the point.) Now, to the other argument...er...I already said that...oh, well, it really doesn't matter, because it wasn't much of an argument anyhow. To the other defining characteristic of a nap (being that sleeping during the day is what defines a "nap".) I say this: What the heck is your definition of "day"?! That's what this is all about! You argued that sleep is the parameter by which the day is defined. Now you argue that the day is the parameter by which sleep is defined? You and your paradoxical rhetoric can get right out of here!

That felt good.

So, on to my system. (...er...Kim's system that she has been kind enough to let me use...thanks Kim...ThKim. Look Around You, Series One, Module 2: Water...anyone?...) The new day begins at 4:00. That's it. Simple right? It's great. Think about all the times that you've stayed up very late...to the point where you didn't know if it was late or early. The new day has to start somewhere. And midnight is, by definition of its component parts, not it. 4:00 is perfect. It's "late" enough that it's not the middle of the night; that is, it's properly "morning". But it's early enough that even if you have to get up early, then you don't (usually) fall asleep and wake up on the same day. (As could easily happen if the day began at 6:00, for example.)

So, according to this system, (this system being the one that I recognize) I have not failed the BEDA challenge. If you don't like that, you can go shove it up in a treetop somewhere. (Actually, please don't do that. I happen to like trees and would rather not have stuff shoved up in the tops of them.)

(4:00 is also an excellent time because if you type it with the shift key held, you get this: $:)). And $:)) = money and a double-chinned (or perhaps double-mouthed?) smiley emoticon. That is another reason why the system that I use is far superior to yours...unless you also use the same system that I do...then they are equal...but mine is more equal...)

(Also, I'm very aware of the frequent (and abundant...(redundant?)) use of "("s, ")"s, and "..."s in this blog post. That is to say, I'm aware of the frequent (and abundant...(redundant?)) use of parentheses and ellipses in this blog post. Take it easy on me, it's very late, almost to the point of being very early, but not quite. That doesn't happen until $:)). )

Thank you for reading this ridiculously long post. I hope you enjoyed it, and if you didn't, there's aboslutely nothing I can do about it. (Victor Borge...anyone?...)

Sunday, April 05, 2009

Awkward...

So, those of you that know me (which is all of you...) know that I don't normally care when situations are awkward. However, tonight, I went to Jeff's house to practice a ceremony for the Order of the Arrow. Afterward, he (and his family) invited me to stay for a family birthday celebration of his mom and sister's birthdays. Family meaning grandparents and an aunt came over. It was awkward.

But, it was also really cool. It was my first time meeting Jeff's sister Nicole. She is a student at BYU and thus never home. It was also cool that his family asked if I would like to stay. Jeff says that his family thinks I'm cool and enjoys hanging out with me. That is really cool. After the celebrations, I played cards with Jeff and two of his sisters.

Anyhow, now to the real reason for posting. I love going to Jeff's house. By going there I finally understand what is meant by the phrase "love at home." My own house is rarely filled with love. We aren't always contentious, but love is almost never a part of the atmosphere here. I love my family, and I know that they love me, but we rarely act on such feelings.

Today I was challenged to take a mental tour of my house. Part of the challenge was to search for the places where the feeling of love is present. I failed the challenge. I failed to feel much love in my house at all. I re-did that challenge for Jeff's house and the love is everywhere. My parents always wondered why my brothers and I have always gone to friends' houses instead of inviting them over. We have just figured that "there's nothing to do here." Actually, there isn't that much more to do anywhere else, but in other homes, love permeates and encompasses everything and everyone within. In my "home", (it's really just a house) love permeates and ecompasses nothing and no one. (Haha, I just saw the opportunity to work that in...)

Anyway, this I believe (has anyone had Paxton for English?) is the reason that I enjoy leaving my house all the time. Catch ya later. (Tomorrow to be exact...)

Saturday, April 04, 2009

Ladies and Gentlemen...SUBURBAN LEGENDS!

Yo, I'm here wif my main man...alright, that's enough of the Ali G accent. Anyway, last night I went to an amazing concert. As you may have guessed from the title of this post, it was Suburban Legends. This was my second time seeing Suburban Legends and it was well worth my time and ten dollars.



First off, the show was at Kilby Court, which I had never been to previously. I have several friends that were in on the Kilby scene for a while so I asked them about it. I thought they were exaggerating when Kingberson told me it was about the size of his garage at his old house. He wasn't. It really is a tiny place. Luckily, we showed up very early. About an hour before the concert started actually, which apparently was ridiculously early for a show at Kilby Court.



My friend that I went with (which happens to be a girl, that's important later. Oh, her name is Kim) decided that we should skip the two local opening bands and go do something else in Salt Lake for the next 2.5 hours until Suburban Legends would be up. We left and headed to the Salt Lake City Library, which apparently closes at 6 on Fridays...who knew? Anyhow, I talked her into going back to the venue to wait it out. It wasn't too hard to talk her into it because she is rather short and wouldn't have been able to see if we didn't get back and hang out at the front.



Anyhow, we went back and met up with George, Patrik, and Tashi. The first two bands ended up being rather better than I had remembered them. I had seen them both last August in a local ska showcase at the Avalon. The only real problem that I had with Illegal Beagle and the Skaficionados was the undiscernable lyrics and vocal melodies. If they would actually sing, I would love their music. The guitarist for Illegal Beagle was exceptionally good. (although he broke two strings...)



So, now it was time for the real show to start. Suburban Legends took the stage and kicked it off with my favorite song: High Fives. I got numerous high fives from Vince (singer) during this song as I was essentially on the front row. By essentially, I mean that Kim was in front of me, but I could easily see and reach over her. They played a great set. They had us (the whole crowd, not just Kim and me) so psyched up; it was awesome. The whole show was amazing for me, but Kim had two particular moments that stood out. I will tell you about these now.



Kim happens to have a little bit of a thing for the trombone player, Brian Robertson. During the concert, he was about to perform some synchronized dance moves with Luis (trumpet) and Vince (the afore-mentioned singer). However, he didn't have time to make it to the back of the stage (which is amazing considering the size of the stage...) to put his trombone on the stand. So, he came front and center and handed his trombone to the girl standing there. Needless to say it was Kim and it made her night. She also bought a shirt and got him to sign it...





Anyway, I finally got a "Slay the Dragon" jacket and once again got to see one of my favorite bands in concert. It was most excellent. I really just wrote all this to have something to write because as you may notice, I have about 2 minutes to get this up before I lose the BEDA challenge. Catch ya all later. (...as in tomorrow...)



p.s. I'm sorry that the camera on my phone sucks. That is a very blurry picture of Luis (trumpet, left) Vince (singer, middle) and Brian "Robot" Robertson (trombone, right (and in the back)).

Friday, April 03, 2009

SLAKC!

FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT DON'T KNOW, THOSE LETTERS STAND FOR:

"SUBURBAN LEGENDS AT KILBY COURT!"

That is correct, tonight at roughly seven o'clock, Kilby Court will open the doors for an amazing show featuring Suburban Legends. There will be various local band opening for them, chief of which is Spontaneous Kennie! Needless to say, I'm excited. Also, I don't have to spend three hours driving to and from Logan in order to pick up my friend for the show, because she got a ride with someone else. I've really got nothing else to say.

Actually, I do. To all of you people that always whine when it snows: DEAL WITH IT! We live in Utah people, that means that random snow showers are entirely possible until about June or so. If you don't like it, leave. If you're too young to leave, and you complain about snow, then you better leave when you are old enough. If you continue to live in Utah then you have no right to complain about snow.

Think about Terms of Use Agreements. How many times do you see the message, "By clicking yes, you are agreeing to our Terms of Use agreement."? Well, I'm going to propose a Terms of Use Agreement for Utah. "By living here, you are agreeing to live in a place with snow. By living here, you forfeit any right to complain about snow."

Anyway, you do have freedom of expresion, particularly when it comes to speech. I'm merely advising you to not waste your breath (or text) on a pathetic complaint about the weather. (e.g. "I hate snow!") If you truly have reason to be angry at the weather for bringing us this wonderful moisture, (you do remember that Utah is a desert that has been in a drout for like ten years right?) then tell us about your reason for hating snow. If you plan an outdoor event, (wedding reception, barbeque, day on the lake, etc.) tell us how disappointed you are that whatever it is got cancelled. If it caused you injury, (i.e. you slip and fall on snow) tell us about the bruises. Get it? Got it. Good.

By all means, express yourself, but do it in a way that is meaningful and interesting. Because, honestly, how many people take time to comment on a Facebook stay-tus update that says, "Dane Layton HATES SNOW!!!" Very few, and of those that do, most will say something as mentally stimulating as: "Me too." Wow, you really expressed yourselves well that time. Why not just move to Oceania in George Orwell's 1984 and learn Newspeak. That way you could have such stimulating conversation with everyone all the time!

Oh, say hi to Big Brother for me.

Thursday, April 02, 2009

...and the Oscar goes to...

Slumdog Millionaire! And rightly so. I can't actually recommend it to most of my friends because it is rated "R", but it is definitely the best movie I've seen in a long time. It is rated "R", as far as I can tell, because it deals with children. There are definitley TONS of PG-13 movies that show more violence, more sleaze, and have worse language. In fact, this movie showed nothing sleazy, and didn't actually show any violence in the way of blood and gore. And the language was less offensive than any movie that came out in the eighties. The only reason I can figure that it's rated "R" is that children are involved in most of the "violent" parts of the movie.

There is a scene in which some men (bad men that is) teach orphans to beg as a business venture. The movie shows a scene where it is clear that these men (the bad men mentioned earlier) cause blindness in a young boy because "blind singers earn double". It shows the men drugging him to sleep. They then heat up a spoonful of oil and move it towards the boy's eyes. They then show nothing of the actual "process" and merely show the boy with a bandage over his eyes minutes later.

The only other thing that I really thought earned an "R" rating was later in the movie, one of the boys that worked for these bad men shoots the leader of said bad men in the head. Again, nothing graphic is shown at all. View of the man's head is obstructed such that all you see is the body slump to the ground. It is less graphic than the average James Bond movie or the average primetime TV show. If, in both of these scenes, the kids involved were replaced by adults, the movie most definitely would have earned a PG-13 rating.

Now you know, so if you have desired to see this movie and wanted to know why it was rated "R", you can now make up your own mind. I'm really just doing this because I said I would blog every day in April and I needed something to talk about today. I'll catch ya all later. (As in tomorrow...)

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

BEDA

Hey everyone! I'm just letting you know that I'm doing a little thing called Blog Every Day in April. I've really got nothing to say today except that I'm going to do it. I'd also like to point out, that Pat is definitely the coolest person that I know. I just realized this today when I was hanging out with him. If you don't know him, you should definitely get on that. Also, for all you lady types, I've got a friend that I think you would like. His name is Riley. Well, that's really all I've got for today. Expect a bunch more of these crappy posts. (29 more to be exact...)

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Animate (thanks Rush)

Have you ever thought about wind? I mean, most of us probably just take wind for granted. So, I know that you're a little busy reading right now, but in a moment I want you to stop and think about wind. Think every thought that you can muster about it. I don't care how silly the thoughts are, just think.

Now, were any of your thoughts about wind positive? Or were all your thoughts about wind very negative? (i.e. it messes up hair; it's annoying; it makes me cold; it gets dust in my eyes, etc.) If you managed to think about wind in a positive fashion, I encourage you to let me know what they were via comment.

Alright, now that you've thought about wind for a while, I want to share with you a Eureka! moment that I had a while back with regards to wind. Wind is single-handedly (well...wind doesn't really have any hands...but you catch my drift) one of the most amazing things on this earth.

To explain this, let me start with a question. Have you ever watched "The Sorcerer's Apprentice" bit from Disney's Fantasia? Have you ever wished that, like Mickey, you could innervate ordinary items as he does with the mop and the bucket? How cool would it be if ordinary, inanimate objects could suddenly move about? Well, my friends, (unless we're enemies, in which case "OFF WITH HIS/HER HEAD!") this is precisely the effect that wind has on ordinary, inanimate objects.

I realized this one windy afternoon (and you thought this epiphany came on a calm, still day...crazy...) when I was driving down a street in my neighborhood. I happened to pass the house of some people who have a mentally handicapped child. (political correctness? I have no idea...please don't take offense if I'm wrong.) Josh was outside waving a flag in the wind.

When I saw him, I realized that I had seen him outside on every windy day for years. Some days he would bring a flag out of the house. On national holidays he would often play with the flags that the local scout troop put up in the neighborhood as a fundraiser. On other days, he would just sit and look at all the trees on the street, or perhaps the leaves in the road. He would spend hours just watching in amazement as things that had previously been lifeless suddenly take on a life of their own; bending, flapping, flying, and fluttering about. I had never noticed him before other than to make sure that I didn't hit him with my vehicle. But on this particular day, it hit me:

To him, wind was that power that almost everyone I know has secretly sought since childhood. Wind animates the inanimate.

I will forever be grateful for the wisdom of that boy.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Yo

Hi, for those of you who don't know me, my name is Steve. The first thing that you need to know about me is that I really don't know why I'm doing this. I don't even have the excuse that my friend and I are starting blogs together or it's a thing my family is doing to stay in touch. Basically, I just decided to do it for no apparent reason. The second thing that you'll need to know about me is that I don't really feel that I have much to say. Thirdly, I highly doubt that I will be able to adequately able to express anything that I do decide to say. Finally, I frequently quote/allude-to movies and music in everyday conversation; we'll see if it carries over.

With these things in mind, welcome to my blog. If you've found me by accident, I'm sorry, but I hope to end up on the favorable end of a comparison with stepping in manure. While you're here, I hope that you will at least pause long enough to read a little and comment. Also, I would like to you to tell me about whatever makes your world go 'round. For those of you that are crazy enough to have found me on purpose...well, do whatever it is that you came here to do...whatever that may be. (note to self: It's a blog, how many possible purposes can there be for coming here?) Alan, if you somehow managed to find this..."Hey Kid, whas wrong witchu?!"

Lastly, I'd like to let you all in on a little secret: I'm in search of lyrics. To quote a friend of mine, I am "in a kind-of band." However, most of the great music that we've written is all for naught. If you would like to try your hand at lyric writting, please share your wealth. I would tell you what style of music we play if I was able to classify it. We mostly do it all, so whatever you've got, we've probably got a song for it.

Well, now that I'm done being boring and introducing myself, on with the show. I'll be looking forward to hearing from you. (...provided that anyone actually decides to read this...)